Favoritism in the Workplace…

Let me start by saying I have been working since I was 17 years old straight out of high school. I literally started working 2 days after graduation. I have had 4 steady jobs (2 of them I worked at for 7 years, 1 for 5 years and the most recent over 2 years). So I have worked with all kinds of people with all different types of personalities. Nothing seems to surprise me anymore when it comes to people I work with but for some reason some of the shit people do still irks the living shit out of me!

This job that I currently have hasn’t been “God Awful” but it hasn’t been the greatest either. I have dealt with more petty childlike behavior here than what I deal with at home “WITH MY CHILDREN”!  Some of the women I work with have a tendency of looking at me and then rolling their eyes as if I just kicked them in the face and I’ve pissed them off. Listen, I haven’t kicked anyone anywhere but there have been many times I wish I could. Actually, one punch in the throat and I’d be a happy camper. 😂

Anyway, I see a lot of favoritism here that I don’t recall seeing at any other place I have worked at. The favoritism has more to do with my boss than with anyone else. I’ll explain what I mean. We have summer hours going on right now which means we work 4 days at 10 hours a day and we have off one day of the week that we choose. So many people were out yesterday and it was me, another lady, my boss and the little old lady who is retiring in 2 days in the finance department. My boss came over once to me to ask me about some cash numbers and a few times to socialize with the one lady while the old lady who is retiring as well as myself sat by and watched them socialize.

Fast forward to today, everyone in our department is here today. It’s a full house!  Well my boss came over to two of the women who were out yesterday and asked how their weekend was, what they did and how they were doing. She stood there socializing with them for half an hour or more. (Boss to the right and 1st co-worker to the left and 2nd co-worker who she spoke to after this first one is up ahead in the picture to the right).

Let me be clear about something, I am in NO WAY jealous of my co-workers and the attention they get from our boss. I just find it extremely unprofessional when your boss, who you should feel comfortable enough to talk to, makes you feel like an outcast and does not make you feel comfortable enough to talk to her about any issues or concerns.

I have seen so much favoritism around me here that it disgusts me and makes me want to quit. It saddens me because they show you this facade when they bring you in and hire you and that facade lasts for about a month or so and then little by little it begins to dwindle and the blinders come off and “wallah” you see the truth!

A little word of advice for you bosses who show favoritism, remember that favoritism does not boost morale. In fact, it causes Psychological Issues. Read the linked article. Be kind to everyone and treat everyone like equals. You never know who is watching and what they will do or say to others about you.

Much Love, Hugs & Kisses!

How Do I Balance Work, Kids, Family & Personal Time?

Being a mom and working a full time job is exhausting. Trying to meet deadlines at work, keeping track of upcoming events, holidays and birthdays, taking care of the dog and his needs, making sure everyone gets to where they have to go on a daily basis and making sure dinner is done by 8pm so the kids can be laying down by 8:30-9:00 is not an easy task. Add to that some “personal time” and you’ve managed to overdo it and now you’re swamped and still haven’t managed any “me time”.

I have read on Facebook and on some online parenting forums that some “Stay at Home” moms seem to think that moms who work have it a little easier than they do because they don’t spend as much time with their kids and they don’t have all the house work to do, etc… That’s most definitely not true.  If anything, we are equally overworked!  We both have to take care of our children, we both have to make sure that the home is kept up with and dinner is made and we both still have other things to worry about including finding the time to have some personal time alone. The only difference is that while one works all day making sure all their daily tasks are completed before the end of the day the other is at home making sure all of their daily tasks are taken care of for when the kids get home. Other than that, there really is no difference. 

As a mom of three, 17 yr old, 13 yr old and 9 month old, trying to manage my full time job and all the housework and extra curricular activities while my husband is away at work for 6 weeks at a time is so hard. I, personally, never have time alone unless I’m driving to work and back home (or to my moms to get the baby).  It starts to become overwhelming and I begin to feel lost because I’m literally just going through the motions of each day without giving it a second thought.  

I’m not sure how I make it through the days sometimes because I can’t comprehend how one person can manage to do so much in one day and still get to bed by 9:30-10:00pm. Some days I can honestly say that I don’t make it to bed until after 11pm because I have so much to do after the kids are taken care of but its not everyday so I can’t complain.  Nevertheless, I’m a human being who has needs and “I Need” to have some “Me Time”but how do I manage!? How do I manage to get a few hours at a nail salon to pamper myself!? How do I get a few hours to myself to watch my favorite shows without any interruptions!? 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m good at managing my weekdays and my weekends but in all honesty, I don’t know where I could fit in the time. I already rely on my mom a little too much to help me out during the week when I ask her to watch the baby a little longer so I can wash clothes so why would I impose on her anymore!?  I have asked her to watch the baby during the weekend when my husband and I wanted to go out on a date for our wedding anniversary. Why would I continue to take advantage and ask for another three or four hours of her time so I can have my time. I can’t do it. I can’t do it!

There are times I want to wave the white flag and give up and just sleep all day and ignore everything and everyone but I can’t do that. For now I guess I’ll just do what I do and figure out a way to incorporate some me time so I can feel normal and so I can feel good about myself. Wish me luck!

Much Love, Hugs & Kisses!!

Jury Duty…Blah!

So I’m sitting in the Court House waiting because I was selected for Jury Duty. I have never participated in Jury Duty before; therefore, I don’t know what to expect. As look around, I see so many people who look just as miserable as I do to be here. The lady who is validating parking tickets and signing us all in is mean looking and a little rude. I’m afraid to look at her the wrong way because I’m afraid of getting into trouble LOL. I feel like a 2nd grader who is attending their first day of school. 

As the morning progresses we are brought into a courtroom to watch this God awful video about “How Important” jury duty is and how it’s our “Civil Duty” as Americans to be impartial. Blah blah blah!  Next we had to WALK four flights of stairs to some “Juror Lounge” (lounge my ass, it look like a supply room). Am I Right?!

Then I sit next to some lady who is coughing up her left fucking lung and spitting out fucking globs of mucus into a jar! No Lie!!!! It is the most disgusting thing ever!!! I even snap chatted her ass! Yes, I did!  I am soooo miserable! The thought of sitting next to someone like this and not being able to move immediately because some lady named Jeannette, is talking to us is horrifying. I eventually get up to use the restroom and what happens?!?!?! 




She followed me into the ladies room so I rush out and sit somewhere else. It was a row of chairs that had no one else sitting on them so I sat directly in the middle seat. And where does she sit when she comes out?!?!?!? 




Like seriously!? WTF?! I’m officially done! I now want to punch her in her throat! Pregnant and all, I don’t care right now. Take your sick ass somewhere else. 

Why must I endure this torture just so I can fulfill my “CIVIL DUTY”. Is it really a “CIVIL DUTY” if I’m forced to do it?! Why is Jury Duty mandated? Why can’t we just volunteer? Why are we threatened with a “$500 fine plus contempt of court, which could result in imprisonment”?  If I don’t go and they send me to jail is that going to “Teach Me A Lesson”? At this point, I’d rather pay the fine and go to jail than to sit here. 😕

I can feel it now, it’s going to be a long day! 


If you are ever called to Jury Duty and you’re coughing up a lung and spitting out bodily fluids stay the fuck away from people! Isolate yourself in a corner! Do us all a favor because you never know who has an infant at home or who may have children or loved ones at home with a weak immune system. 

I can’t wait to get out of here!  Wish me luck and pray for me! (Or pray for the person next to me). Hopefully this won’t be me.

Much Love, Hugs & Kisses!! 

Love ’em but can’t stand ’em!

So…every once in a while I have conversations with my children that drive me absolutely insane! I love my children to death!  I would die for them and I would kill for them. They are my life, my heart and my soul and they are the reasons why I do what I do.  But… (Yes there is a BUT)… sometimes the shit that comes out of their mouths irks me to no end and then what happens!?!? I can’t stand them in that moment!

This morning while driving to work my 13 year old sends me a text while I’m stuck in this God awful traffic on Route 287 N (in NJ). Now, if you’re from NJ you know exactly what I’m talking about… It is utterly ridiculous! Anyway, voice text is my best friend! Sorry, Back to the story. 

He sends me a text that reads: 

“Do I have to wear school uniform can I just wear addida pants” (he means Adidas, LOL and no he didn’t use punctuation… I wonder what the hell teachers actually teach in school these days). 

Sorry sorry, got sidetracked and went on a mini rant. 

Anywho, my response is “Are you allowed to wear regular clothes?” And he says “No but everyone is doing it”. So let’s stop here for a moment and think about what he said and what your reaction would be as a mother.  (I’ll wait……). 

Ok, so that’s the worst possible thing he could have ever said to me. (not the worse but you know what I mean). 

So right before he sent that to me and right after I sent my initial response I was going to change my mind and say ok go in your adidas pants, since it’s the last two days of school. However, I saw that response and it was almost as if something took over my brain and infuriated me that I said “fuck that, he’s wearing his uniform”. So my response to him was “Then no, wear your uniform. Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean you should”.  

Now you would think the conversation would be over and we’d be done and I could go to work in peace. But NOOOOOOO… That couldn’t be! 

Here’s the rest of our conversation:

Antonio: But I don’t want to wear jeans

Antonio: It shouldn’t matter tomorrow is the last day

Me: You can wear regular clothes tomorrow for the last day of school.

Antonio: Come on it’s gym i do not want to wear jeans today it’s going to be hot

Me: No, wear your uniform and tomorrow you can wear what you want. 

Antonio: Forget it ill just wear it

Me: Ok

Me: Watch your tone Antonio. You don’t wanna start your summer on punishment. 

Antonio: These jeans just look like I’m wearing girl jeans

Me: You’ve been wearing the same damn jeans all year long. Now all of a sudden they look like you’re wearing girl jeans. Wear them and stop it! I’ll remember before school starts to not buy you skinny jeans anymore because that’s what those are. 

Antonio: Well I grow and now they look like girl jeans (he meant grew LOL)

7:27am Me: Well you didn’t have an issue with them last week. 

7:35am Me: Hopefully you’re done and are already on your way out the door. 

7:42am Me: Did you leave yet?

He finally answers me 15 minutes later LMAO

Antonio: Yes I’m at school

Me: So why didn’t you text me to tell me?

So he read my last text at 7:42 a.m. And it’s 8:57a.m. and still no response. So… Do you think he’s mad!? Nah, he just typed out a response and forgot to hit send because he was going into school for breakfast. 😂 Nope, not true. He hates me right now and I don’t care. 

Now, as a mom of two teenage boys, I understand that wearing a uniform to school isn’t ideal but it’s school policy and they have to learn to just deal with it. Regardless, like I have stated before – I love my kids to death but sometimes on days like this I just can’t stand them.

Much Love, Hugs & Kisses!

Is It Compassion/Empathy or Is It Coddling?

Growing up I was raised to show compassion towards others and to empathize whenever I could. When you empathize with another human being you are showing them that you understand where they are coming from because you have been there. When you show a person compassion you are taking action on those feelings of empathy and doing something that will make them feel better, to a certain degree.

Now in my personal opinion, a person who lacks empathy and/or compassion is basically showing others that they could care less about how another individual is feeling and how they’re affected by their grief and loss. They are expecting that person to get over it and move on. However, I feel as though no one should dictate to another human being when they should move on or when they should stop grieving. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and on their own timeline. Only the person who has faced such a loss can say when “they’re” ready to stop grieving and when “they’re” ready the move on. No one else gets that right!  What do you think?

Now the reason behind this blog is because this morning I was having a conversation with someone about why I didn’t go to the cemetery yesterday for Father’s Day to visit my dad. My son just lost his dad and this was going to be the first holiday where he couldn’t call and celebrate with his dad and he has no cemetery to go to (long story, maybe I’ll do a blog about it someday). So I understand the feelings my son is experiencing so I thought I would show some compassion and just not go this year so that he wouldn’t get depressed or sad. He has been doing so good lately because he hasn’t had a breakdown of uncontrollable crying and I surely didn’t want to start one.

During this conversation I was told “These kids are going to have to learn how to deal with and do things for themselves if you continue to coddle them they never will”. Now I was under the impression that coddling meant me doing things for them that they are more than capable of doing for themselves.  I was under the impression that I was being empathetic and compassionate towards my child and what he was going through. Am I wrong? Was I just coddling him?  I’m so confused!

Regardless of what people think I do not always coddle my children.  I don’t coddle my oldest and with my youngest I am working hard (deep within myself) to let him become more independent but that’s hard when you’re dealing with a child who has ADHD and doesn’t pay close attention to what he’s doing because it’s difficult for him , that’s another blog! LOL

Overall, I think I have done a great job raising my boys alone (until my husband came along) and they are well mannered and independent.  If they had to take care of themselves for days, they could.  If I’m around they know that I will always do for them because I “want” to not because I’m “coddling” them.  They know how to cook for themselves (they will call and ask for help if they need to LOL) and they know what needs to be done.  If I still lived at home with my mom and dad I know they’d still do things for me but just as I have taught my boys, they taught me how to be self sufficient so I could manage on my own; but why would I if my parents offered to do things for me??

All I am saying is that every time a parent does something for their kids to make their kids feel loved or simply because they want to do it for their kids does that mean they’re coddling them?  I don’t think so.

Much Love, Hugs &Kisses!

Happy Father’s Day!

Happy Father’s Day!

Today is the day that everyone celebrates their fathers or their husbands.  Everyone calls or sends a text wishing them a “Happy Father’s Day” or posts something up on Facebook wishing every dad they know a Happy Father’s Day.  It’s such a wonderful day to celebrate the men in our lives who are wonderful father’s to our children, some of those children not even being their own but they love them and accept them as if they were.  Those dads are special and deserve to be recognized, EVERYDAY, not just one day out of the year.  There are many men who are the most amazing father’s to their children (and other children they did not conceive) and then there are many other men who do not even deserve the title of “FATHER”.

What about those of us who no longer have a dad?  How are we supposed to celebrate Father’s Day and feel complete?  How are we supposed to feel when we are wishing all these men a Happy Father’s Day and we do not have a dad to pick up the phone and call to say “Hi Papi, Happy Father’s Day… Te Amo”.  Just so you know, it’s a horrible feeling.  It has got to be one of the worst feelings in the entire world to not have a dad anymore.  To not be able to call your father and tell him how much you love him and how much you miss him.  To tell him how well your children are doing and to let him know how much they love and miss their abuelo.  It’s not a great feeling.  Losing a parent is one of the worst feelings in the entire world.  For those of you who have both parents around, be thankful.  Take a step back and be thankful and grateful because you can say you have both of your parents around.  For those of you who only have one parent (either mom or dad) cherish that parent and love them unconditionally regardless of their faults because one day they will no longer be around and you never want to have any regrets.

Now, as a mom of three children, who all have different fathers, Father’s Day is not easy in this household.  My husband is the father of my baby girl Alexis and then my oldest son Justin and youngest son Antonio (Tony) have two different fathers.  Tony gets to spend every other weekend with his dad, he’s not the best father figure in the world but my son loves him and I guess that’s all that matters (for now).  Justin on the other hand just lost his dad in December of 2015 suddenly.  One minute they were out for breakfast and the next his father was in a coma on life support (all in a matter of hours).  How, as a mom, do I help my son cope with his first Father’s Day without his father?  How in the world do I do that? I can’t… I just can’t.  Today has been a very somber day for me because I miss my dad terribly but I can’t even begin to imagine how Justin is feeling today.  He says he’s fine, he looks fine but remember folks, LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING!

My point of this blog is to remind you all to be thoughtful and considerate and always cherish the parents you have, respect the memory of the parents you no longer have and take solace in knowing that the parent who is gone is never really gone.  They are with you always in spirit and in your heart.

Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful dads out there who appreciate the blessing of being a father and to all those moms out there who have had to pull double duty because either the dad is a deadbeat or the dad has passed away.

Now to my Personal Father’s Day Wishes:


Happy Father’s Day my love.  You are a wonderful father to our daughter and to our boys.  Although you are not their biological father you love them as if you were.  I thank God for you every day.  The love and attention you give to our children is appreciated more than you know.  Since the moment you walked into our lives you have provided my boys with such love and acceptance that I couldn’t be more proud and honored to have a daughter with you so that you can shower her with the same love and acceptance you have given to our boys.  I love you with all that I am!  Thank you for being such a wonderful father.  We Love You!

Kevin and Alexis


Happy Father’s Day Papi!  You are sorely missed every single day.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think of your smile and the names you used to call me.  I wish that you were here to watch me graduate high school and finish college.  I wish you were here to watch my children grow up and tell them how much you love them just like you used to do to me.  I wish you could influence my children to do what is right the way you helped influence me.  All my adult life I have lacked the connection a daughter should have with her father.  How I wish you were there for my wedding to give me away.  All the things that most daughters take for granted I just wish I could have experienced even just one (either my high school graduation, birth of my children or my wedding, any of them with you there would have been wonderful).  Regardless, I know you have always been there in spirit and you always will be.  You are the first man I ever loved and I hope and pray that my boys will be just like you when they grow up.  Te amo y te extraño.


Happy Father’s Day Hector!  It saddens me that you are not here with us.  You were the greatest father I could have ever hoped for for Justin.  Justin was blessed to have had you in his life until he was 17.  He had you through the toddler, child and early teenage years which were crucial to his development.  You helped shape and mold the young man I see before me everyday.  You played a huge part in the man he will become.  He is respectful to others, he loves unconditionally and he appreciates what he has.  You were a blessing to him throughout his childhood and you will be an angel to him for the rest of his life.  Thank you for being such a wonderful father to him, you were an angel while you were alive and you are most definitely an angel now.  God Bless you!  We miss you dearly!

Much Love, Hugs & Kisses!

Who & Why…

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

You may be saying, “Who is this old ass woman starting a blog and why is she starting one?”  Well let me introduce myself.  My name is Norma and I am 38 years old (I’ll be 39 in a little over a month… blah).  I am a full time mom to three wonderful children, a full time employee to an Avionics company, a full time wife and a full time daughter, sister and aunt (to way too many kids).  I am a college graduate with a BS in Psychology looking to go back to work on my Masters in Child Psychology or something in that area.  Why would I want to go back to school at my age and work towards getting a Master’s Degree and rack up more student loan debt?  Simple… It’s a goal that I want to achieve and it’s a passion of mine to learn about the human mind.

Let’s get into my family (i.e. kids, husband, dog… etc.), briefly.  I have three children, two boys and one girl.  My oldest Justin is 17 years old and will be 18 in October.  My other son is Antonio; he is 12 years old and will be 13 in September.  Then finally there’s my youngest, Alexis.  She is 8 ½ months old and will be a year old in September.  I am married to a wonderful man named Kevin; he is the love of my life and my soulmate, we will talk more about that some other time. 😉  Finally, we have a dog, his name is Taz.  Yes he acts like the Tasmanian Devil sometimes which is why his name is Taz.

The goal of this blog is not to rack up likes, gain popularity or to make a career out of this but to have a platform that I can turn to when I am having a bad day and no one around to talk to or I just don’t feel like having any human interaction.  Trust me, I have those days.  I’m sure we all have those days!  All I can do is enjoy this journey that I have decided to start and hope that I grow and learn from this experience.

Much Love, Hugs & Kisses…