Motivation or Lack Thereof…

What is motivation?  Motivation is the willingness and desire to do something.  When you have motivation you tend to push forward and do what is needed to ensure the end result you want. 

Motivation isn’t something that is constant and never ending. You have to find motivation and hold on to it. You have to have a purpose in life to keep the momentum going so you don’t lose that motivation. When you lose that motivation you begin to feel lost and emotions begin to take over. You not only feel lost but you feel defeated, angry and frustrated.  You begin to think “what’s my purpose in life?!?!” “What am I supposed to do now?!?!”  What do you do?  Who do you turn to?  What’s your next step?  How do you push forward and get back that motivation?

If you’re on the sideline, witnessing someone lose motivation little by little, what are you supposed to do?  How do you approach the situation?  What steps can you take to help someone get back on track?  

I have some suggestions of what I think a person should do to help. I’m not saying this is the best way to handle it but I do believe it’s one way to handle it. 

First, help find the root of the problem. Find out why they lost motivation. Is it because they lost a loved one?  Is it because they lost their job?  Did they gain weight and have lost their self-esteem?  HELP FIND THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM!

Second, ask questions. Find out how they lost someone (i.e. breakup, death, etc.). Find out how they lost their job.  Find out why they gained the weight (i.e. depression, stress, health, etc.).  Get answers to the underlying issue. This is the only way to determine how you can proceed. ASK QUESTIONS!

Third, provide help/support. Whether it’s emotional support or psychological help, provide support.  Help them understand what has happened and why it has happened. Help them get a clearer understanding of the situation. Allow them to talk out their issues and concerns.  Give them a safe place to vent. Point them in the direction of a therapist or a psychologist… someone they can speak to who will not be biased and who can provide a clear and unbiased assessment of their sitstuion as well as some advice on how to move forward and overcome the obstacle in their path.  PROVIDE HELP/SUPPORT! 

Finally, be patient!  As someone sitting on the sidelines it’s easy for you to say “get over it”. It’s not that simple and clean cut for the individual going through this issue.  It’s an internal struggle and something that takes time to overcome. Just have patience and stay by their side. BE PATIENT!

In life, there are no perfect answers for everything that is troubling someone. There’s no “one way” to handle things and every one handles things at their own pace, in their own way.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t offer support and understanding although it may not be easy for you either. 

Just remember… Everything happens for a reason!  Be kind and be patient and things will work out the way they’re meant to. 

Much Love, Hugs & Kisses!

Feeling Like You’re Not Enough…

Have you ever gone through your day, through your normal daily routine (get up, take kids to school or sitter, go to work, go pick up kids, go home, help with homework, cook dinner, clean up after dinner, etc.) and still feel as though you’re not enough for your family?!?!  You’re not alone, most moms feel that way. If you don’t feel that way then kudos to you, tell me your secret. 

As moms we have a tendency to be extremely hard on ourselves because we have this idea in our heads that society says we should be “stay at home moms” or “make home cooked meals every night” or “sign our kids up for whatever sport/activity they want”. Well that’s not reality!  Reality is being there for your child when they need you the most. Reality is guiding your child down the right path in life to help make them a productive member of society. Reality is going to bed every night and still having a ton of things that you didn’t get to finish that day.  Not every moms reality is the same but for the most part many moms deal with similar feelings of inadequacy. 
Us moms have to stop being so hard on ourselves.  We are one person trying to do the job of three or four people. We have to juggle many tasks and learn how to manage our time wisely in order to get everything done. However, we also have to learn to accept the fact that life isn’t perfect and that there are no perfect moms or families. What society says you should be as a mom and what social media shows you isn’t reality. People on social media who look like they have their act together only show you what they want to show you so that it makes their life seem perfect. 

No one is perfect!!  No one’s family is perfect!! Live your life according to your rules and your life will be fulfilling. 

Much Love, Hugs & Kisses!