Day Three…

Today is day three since I found out about my daughter’s God Father committing suicide.  All my life I have never dealt with this first hand.  I know of some people who have family or friends who have committed suicide, I’ve read about all these celebrities committing suicide, etc. however, it has never hit home.  Until now!

Since Friday my family (husband, boys, and myself) have been dealing with the raw emotions of finding out that our friend/family member chose to commit suicide because he felt alone and was in a dark place that he felt like no one was in his corner.  However, that is far from the truth.  Now that he’s gone, it is apparent that he had so many people in his corner that all he had to do was reach out and ask for help.  He never did though.

My husband has been taking his death very hard these past few days and he called this morning to talk.  He began by saying he couldn’t understand why he was taking this death much harder than his grandmother’s.  I explained to him that his grandmother’s death was expected and due to natural causes because of her age.  His friend’s death was a complete shock to him because it was unexpected.  No one would have expected this from this man.  I told him that it’s natural to feel shock because it was unexpected and because it was a suicide.  It’s not like he died unexpectedly because of an accident; he chose to end his life and no one knew it was coming.  It’s a shock to all!  I am grateful that my husband feels comfortable enough to express his feelings of shock, hurt, anger, disappointment, etc.  I’m grateful that I am able to listen to him with an open mind and use the skills I have learned over the last 8+ years while working on my Psychology Degrees.

I truly believe that God put me on the path of Psychology to prepare me for this very moment.  I am able to understand why this man took his life and I am able to help my husband and my children understand that as well.  I am able to listen to them and give them advice as well as explain things they have questions to.  It makes me feel like I am accomplishing what I was meant to do.  It’s sad that it had to happen this way.  Nonetheless, I am happy to be able to help them grieve.

Regardless of what is going on in our lives and no matter how alone we think we are, we are never alone.

Some advice….. There is always ONE PERSON who you mean the world to.  You are NEVER ALONE!  Ask for help even when you feel like you don’t need it.  Speak to people who you trust and know that no matter the circumstances surrounding you, you have a way out that does not have to go down the dark path.

YOU HAVE PEOPLE IN YOUR CORNER AT ALL TIMES!!!

I wish you knew that Larry… You were and will always be loved.  You had more than enough people in your corner.  We would have never left your side!

Much Love, Hugs, & Kisses!

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We all know “ONE”…

We go through life so focused on ourselves and our own lives not noticing the obvious signs of mental illness and suicide that surround us. Whether those signs are coming from family and/or friends, those signs are present.

I’m sure everyone knows someone who has committed suicide or knows someone who knew someone that committed suicide. We all know “ONE” person who has been affected by suicide; OR WE ARE THAT PERSON!!! The sad reality is, we will never truly know why the person did it and what they were feeling. The one thing that is obvious is that they were not looking to hurt us with their decision to end it, they were looking to stop the hurt they felt within themselves.

A very close friend/family member of my immediate family (my daughters God Father) committed suicide a few days ago and before that day I did not know anyone (personally) who had committed suicide. I knew friends who knew people but no one myself. He had a hard time the last year and a half. He had some legal issues & medical issues which contributed to personal issues. However, he never looked defeated or lost or even sad or depressed. He always had a smile on his face and that right there should have been the first sign that something wasn’t right. The next sign was him isolating himself from everyone. We should have known something was wrong and we should have reached out. Unfortunately, we knew nothing.

In life we come across obstacles that are both easy and hard. It’s how we react and deal with those obstacles that make all the difference. The biggest cliché is “talking will help make things better” but as much of a cliche that is, it’s true. Having someone to talk to who will listen to you is one of the most crucial things anyone can do. Most people just need to realize that they do have people who love them and who can listen without judgment. They just need those people to step up even when they don’t ask for an ear.

Suicide is at an all time high right now. There are way too many people choosing to commit suicide over choosing to live life. It’s a sad reality and it’s everyone’s job to stop being so oblivious to the people around them and start opening your eyes wider to the signs that are clearly visible.

Know the Signs

Remember it’s too late to do anything after they’re gone. Let’s be more aware of our surroundings and our loved ones and help prevent suicide. Let’s help them get help.

Much Love, Hugs, & Kisses!